my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
