upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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