What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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