from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
did you just send me my own nude
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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