I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
