We're facebook friends in real life
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
