how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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