Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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