I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
