Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
