So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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