when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
