Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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