i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
