toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
