We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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