I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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