Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
