BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
