What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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