he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
