I just made out with a guy for $7.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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