the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
