By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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