Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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