Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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