what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
