I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
