lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Dicks are not precious.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
