Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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