dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
