doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have fence marks all over my body
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
