im drinking this country out of the recession.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
