Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sext me about skeletons
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