Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
