shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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