you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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