I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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