I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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