so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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