is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
