Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
