Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
