I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
