He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
