He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
we should paint friendship bongs
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