I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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