hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
