my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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