He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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