We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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