Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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