he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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