Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
