Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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